The Government has strongly hinted that recreational drug use may soon be legal on the strict proviso that the drugs used are middle class drugs or at a push working class drugs that are being used by the middle classes.

Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference Prime Minister David Cameron said « We can’t just stop putting people in prison for personal drug consumption just because of some huge home office study that says it’s counter productive. Middle England would be furious. But if we draw a blind eye to jolly middle class drug fuelled japery, we can send everyone else to prison, thus appealing to the electorate as cool and yet at the same time old fashioned.

« Obviously George Osborne wasn’t actually doing lines of ching in that photo with the prostitute but under our new legislation he could have been if he’d wanted to, obviously not now but…