RALEIGH, NC—In the largest drug bust in NC State University history, the DEA has confiscated two tons of crack-cocaine found in Bagwell Residence Hall ground floor that were being prepared for shipment to Centennial campus.

Moreover, laboratory testing has confirmed that these east campus rocks are in fact 99.96% pure freebase cocaine—the purest crack ever found on the eastern seaboard.

“I was in the Bronx during the height of the crack epidemic. I’ve worked everywhere from Miami to Portland [Maine]. This is undoubtedly the purest crack I’ve ever seen,” said DEA agent Hank Devito, while taking a long drag on an American Spirit cigarette.

The site was abandoned when the DEA made the raid, however.

“Somehow they knew we were coming. Whoever these guys are, they’re damn good.”

DEA Intelligence Analyst Simon Long has a theory that twitter is being used by the members of the drug ring to communicate…